The Last Physical

January 07, 2019 1 Comment

The Last Physical




Life is what we at M.U.L.E believe to be a vicious path of never ending decisions. For example, a decision whether to play sports as a child. A decision whether to go to college or to go directly into the work force. A decision whether to work out or to sit on the couch. A decision to start a business, to pursue one career path over another, join the military, or simply sit on your ass and work for nothing.

Every single second, from the moment you open your eyes in the morning, unless you chose to pull an all-nighter and not sleep, you are surrounded by right and left turns that lead down one path or another. Every path is a choice. Every choice has significance or a consequence. And those significant moments or consequences are things that you will live by and be stamped with until the day you no longer walk this earth.

The decision that I have made, by stepping on the road in pursuit of the almighty 300, is a corridor into what most in the medical field would call thoughtless, irresponsible, or plain reckless. An ultimate route to self-destruction.

With weight gain being medically frowned upon, before stepping foot on The Road to 300, this past week led me to scheduling a physical with a licensed Nurse Practitioner. Before I begin, I wanted to know exactly where I am at, what could happen, and ultimately the consequences of this dark and lonely avenue.

The Last Physical results:

  • Height: 6’2
  • Body Weight: 255 pounds
  • BMI – 32.7 “Obese” (which is bullshit because the scale is merely calculated off height and weight)
  • Body Fat Percentage: 12.25%
  • Blood Pressure: 120/79
  • Blood Panel: LDL cholesterol 60mg/dl, HDL cholesterol 52mg/dl
  • HBA1C/Glycosylated hemoglobin: Normal (non-diabetic, 4.7%)

The all judging, all knowing, and unforgiving BMI scale doesn’t take aesthetics, overall health, or other results into consideration. It simply is a mathematic formula derived from height and weight. In our opinion, and the sheer fact it is 2019, the scale needs to be revamped for individuals of this generation and not subject to a scale created in the 1830s by a Belgian astronomer named Lambert Adolphe Jacques Quetelet.

With that being said, and without looking at the BMI scale, I was told I am a healthy individual.

Minutes after being told I am physically fit and perfectly healthy, the dark news then set in as I was told weight gain has a consequence, and for being a healthy individual I will be putting myself at risk by entering this arena. And the risks are as follows:

  1. Coronary Artery Disease
  2. Heart Attacks
  3. Strokes
  4. Type Two Diabetes
  5. Cancer
  6. Depression

Here I am to tell you that even after having a licensed Nurse Practitioner stating what could go wrong and sitting through the last physical I will receive before stepping foot onto the black tar and working toward this god like echelon; you can't put a price tag on size. And to the individuals who say I'm at risk…


300 or DIE.




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