The One Night Stands™


It’s 4:30 am...Not really sure what day it is. Still sore and unable to move due to the leg day you crushed two days ago. Opening your eyes and rolling over to confirm that the time on your iphone matches the time on her alarm clock; you notice the fat, delicious, half eaten pizza on the nightstand next to you. Debating on grabbing a slice and pounding pizza for breakfast, you also notice one other person on your opposite side. Blonde hair, eyes shut, comforter pulled over the face so you can barely see who it is. Mind stirring, you can’t find your socks, shirt, jeans or shoes.  Luckily ole reliable comes in the clutch; your pair of One Night Stands backing you better than Robin backing Batman. Pulling them off the floor and over one leg then the other. You grab a slice, grab your keys and blow a kiss. The last thing she will ever see is the lasting imprint of your body and massive size left on those silk sheets.

Till next time, meaning never… The only thing you can commit to is leg day, and even that is a challenge.


product specifications:

  • 90% Polyester, 10% Elastane
  • Sweat Wicking, Quick Drying
  • Odor Absorbent
  • Flat Lock Stitching
  • 360 Degree Stretch
  • Custom Designed Sublimated Print
  • Debossed M.U.L.E Tailored Waistband
  • Tailored To Trash Maximal Weight
  • Manufactured for Massiveness
  • Designed in Raleigh, North Carolina

Related Items